Newscoma Has Moved
Thursday, November 23, 2006
  Thanksgiving Tag Hag - That's Me Seeing that Lynnster has tagged me (and, no Bigfoot, I swear) I am offering you six oddities about myself. As Lynnster is from the region, I feel honored to be part of all of this tagolicious goodness.
  1. HOT FRUIT GROSSES ME OUT -As Lynnster brought up her disgust with country ham (which I like about once a year when I need to get my salt buzz on) I also have issues that question my southern-ness. I hate, despise, abhor fruit cobbler. Peach, blackberry, cherry, you name it. Now that I think about it all hot fruit makes me want to just throw right up. If you dig it, fine. Me, not so much. Now I do like pumpkin gooey cake, it's just hot fruit thown under a broiler that grosses me out. I'm also not fond of flavored pudding, but I can deal with the chocolate flavored about once every five years. I like fresh fruit.
  2. THE FREAKY TOE -As Lynnster discussed her odd feet, I have this as well. I have been told my little toe looks like it melted down the side of my foot. I do not take offense. I have little feet and they are weird looking anyway. The little toe is pretty tiny and Rodent Queen makes fun of said freaky toe in public occasionally. I think it gives me character.
  3. BREAD AND PASTA SANDWICHES -I'm a carb freak. I like spaghetti and cornbread dressing sandwiches. Yup, I know it sounds disgusting but if Alton Brown ever got ahold of this newscoma delicacy, I bet it would be an international sensation. LOVE. IT.
  4. B-MOVIE ACTOR IDIOT SAVANT -I used to read a lot of TV Guide as a kid and my parents would always buy me movie trivia books. I'm pretty good at naming a B-Movie actor at a moment's notice. It's not a marketable gift and I'm not as good at is as I used to be, but it's a skill that will never get me anywhere. I've had people call me long-distance asking who "such and such" is in a bad movie. I'm pretty good at this. As I said, now that I'm in my forties, I'm not as adept at this and there are no jobs out there for this idiot savant thingie I have going. Damn.
  5. PARALLEL PARKING - I can parallel park very well. I learned how to do this living in Montreal where parking was ten bucks twenty years ago (I can't imagine what it would be now.) It is, once again, an unmarketable skill but I can parallel better than anyone I know. Now driving in a straight line, well there is always an issue. One has to have mad skillz and this is just one I have. I have no idea why because I'm such a spaz.
  6. LACK OF SKILL SPEAKING ANY SPANISH - I can't speak Spanish to save the life of me and its not for lack of trying. Words beyond taco and burrito are beyond me. I am the laughing stock of my family (they sorta can, I can't) as I really try but for some reason my mouth just can't make the words. I've even taken lessons but to no avail. My Spanish teacher threw his hands in the air trying to deal with my sorry ass. I think it's one of the most beautiful languages ever (I'm a huge Pedro Almodovar fan. I love foreign movies) but for some reason there are electrodes in my head that just can't formulate the words. I can read a bit of Dutch and very little German (well, I can order a beer which I find is very helpful), which does me absolutely no good living in rural northwest Tennessee.
So, go visit the lovely Lynnster and Muchas Gracias (I had to ask Squirrel Girl to tell me this) for mentioning me to do this. I realize that I'm extremely deficient. I'm tagging John H., Finn, Ceeelcee, Rodent Queen and Sara. Okay, now I'm going to eat some bird. 
I love that Bush picture. LOVE it!

Yeah, foreign language skills and many other worldly skills are pretty much useless in Upper Northwest TN. Reminds me of a conversation overheard my senior year in HS between a classmate and one of the coaches who was pretty laid back with all of us.

"Where are you going to college, dude?"


"What are you going to major in?"

"Political science."

"Then what?"

"Come back home."

"WTF are you gonna do with a political science degree in Benton County?"

"Oh, I don't know. Hunt."

I love rural West Tennessee. Heh.
I was just over at The Dry Spot. I think it's a little disturbing that all three of us (you, me, CLC) wrote about our malformed toes in our 6 Weird Things. Somebody in California today is going to be going, "Those inbred hick Tennessee rednecks truly are FREAKS..." Snicker.
The Freakishly long toe crew. That's us.
Why is it that W only pardons white turkeys? I think he doesn't care about black turkeys. Signed, Kanye Gobbler
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