Newscoma Has Moved
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
  Another Fun Day In Court First of all, I've been in court this afternoon. It seemed like for hours. Two of my employees, while I was out on medical leave, were suspected of stealing from my esteemed place of business. Today, they were arrested. I didn't want to believe it because they had been to my house and I really sort of liked them, but the evidence is compelling and, alas, due to Crimestoppers, we sort of found out what happened. And yes, one of them plead guilty. When I was on medical leave, I went to see the po po about this (I DESPISE THAT TERM) about the robbery. "Will you take a polygraph?" one of the officers said to me as I was detoxing from Percodan after Edna left, sitting in a snazzy houndstooth hat with my hair all bunched under it and looking like excrement warmed over. I've known him for a long time back in the days when I worked as a news director for the local radio station and when I was an advocate for battered women. We have a relationship I guess, but I didn't want my employees to get their mugshots and me not be in on the action. My mind raced and my excitement was overwhelming. After the Edna Out experience, I was looking for a bit of fun. "Hell yes," I said. This was better than a Bass beer. And being that I had spent two weeks in a muumuu, I was looking for something different. You know, like an adventure on a polygraph where I wasn't wearing a muumuu. "That was too easy," this fine man said. "You don't have to. Hell, you've told us about the hysterectomy and we know you were at home the time of the theft. You don't have to take it." I was very disappointed. I mean, it's not every day that you get offered a polygraph and then it is yanked away like a night out with Antonio Banderas. I wanted to do it. I thought it would be fun. Anyway, today because of a Crimestoppers tip and a great deal of information that seemed very valid, the police arrested the women in question (and they were excellent workers except for the one woman admitting she stole from us) and I headed for court. You see, I wanted to see what would happen. Tammy Lynette went with me to the arraignment and we headed to the jail. I'm disappointed in these women. It wasn't a great deal of money, but the emotional impact that hit the staff was devastating. We wanted to believe they wouldn't come into our lives only to steal from us. They have no idea the amount of faith our staff had in them. Of course, that's changed. I would like to see the one that plead guilty get some rehab or detox (yeah, it was that) and I will be happy to see her get help. Of course, she will never get to repay the lost sleep that members of my staff endured who believed in her that were devastated to find out she plead guilty and who backed her while she was being investigated by the police. She borrowed clothes from some of the women, did the girl talk thing over a beer and even went to church with one woman on my staff and rededicated her life to the Lord with her. I'm not the most religious person in the world, but for some reason that offends me more than anything. She stole the money and confessed to it today less than six weeks later after she was ... umm ... re-saved?. For the second time this week, I sat in a courtroom and looked at a person I thought I knew in the face. She cried standing before the judge. Tammy Lynette and I didn't. The other woman plead not guilty. I hope she isn't guilty, in all honesty, but some stuff is sort of fishy. It's in the hands of the courts, and what happens, happens. It's beer-thirty for the 'coma, campers. Please remind me next time you see me that my chosen profession has great joy and honor to it. And, Tammy Lynette got to go into a Hooterville courtroom and see amusing banter from a meth manufacturer with a local cop. She is in sales. I'm the chick usually in the courtroom. She was quite taken aback with some of the casualness of it all and then laughed. So did I. 
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