Annoying Autobiographical Pause #99
Upon awakening this morning, I had a huge feeling of being underwhelmed.
I'm back at work
I was not supposed to be back until 12/04 after the Edna Out Tour. Please take this into consideration as I'm tired and don't want to listen to minor crap things today,
Yesterday afternoon, Tammy Lynette and I went out for some coffee attempting to figure out the way of the world and how it impacts us the staff.
After saying certain things out loud in our conversation, I became exhausted. Tammy Lynette and I are one of the best teams ever and we try to process these things out because we genuinely care about our employees, but when it comes right down to it, we are still middle management. And I realized I wasn't angry, just so desperately bone-weary that I wondered if I can get a job bartending over where the horses' pictures where taken.
There is value in the work we do, and I realized from the second day I started at this job at the paper that I was designated to be the cheerleader.
I used to do trainings nation-wide for domestic violence workers and my job was to teach them how to be motivational (betcha didn't know that.)
It's something I'm pretty good at. I also was hired because I have a pretty good understanding of rural media. But I can only do so much if I'm not getting my needs met as well.
The issue now for me is that I guess I'm the one who needs the motivating and inspiration.
We have downsized significantly this year, and believe me, I didn't want to do it. Now, Christmas is looking pretty bleak for our remaining employees and when I ask questions, I get basically nothing back.
How can I ask my employees to work harder with a significant loss of manpower with no benefit to them either financially or personally?
I have tried to discuss this with my bosses but they aren't listening to me these days. I don't think they are bad people, but apathy is something that can wear folks down too.
How can I request things when the feedback from upper management is apathetic?
So, I'm going to go put on my happy mask and try to be inspirational.
And when it gets too much, I'll shut the door to my office and get things done as quickly as I can so I can go home.
It's all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out, isn't it?